Lost Lamb
by Police Girl11
Summary: A mission to Scotland hits a mild set back that brings two operatives closer together. Pip brand profanity, be warned. Beta-ed by Kelles.
1. Lost

"Inter oves locum praesta, et ab haedis me sequestra statuens in parte dextra," "Recordare" Mozart's Requiem

"Provide for me a place among the sheep, separate me from the goats, guiding me to your right hand," "Remember" Mozart's Requiem

Lost Lamb

"Shit! What a big fucker," Pip grumbled as he coiled his braid tighter around his neck. Rain that had accumulated in the curves and contours of his hat over flowed to run down his back. The weather did nothing to lighten his mood.

_This was supposed to have been a piece of cake. Quick skirmish in Scotland, clean out the riff raff in a town and be home again by dinner._ It was easy, Bernadette went as far as to call it target practice, especially bringing along the vampires. Sir Integra felt that having them along would strengthen the bonds; after all they were going to work with these creatures. It's best to know a comrade from an enemy.

But that Alucard, "What a big fucker," he said again.

It was still early night, the clouds had just rolled in. Pip couldn't help but smile. _Record time, the boss will be proud._ In and out within hours was just what would set the standard for the rest of the Wild Geese's employment with the Hellsing Organization. "Alright, ladies, into ranks let's make sure no one's still tromping around in the dark." He went through the roster, matching names to faces.

Optimism rose as he got to the lower half of the alphabet, "Victoria?" No response. _Shit fuck_. "Seras Victoria?" He looked around, hoping to meet the gaze of the walking contradiction of every Hellsing instructional video he was required to watch.

"Captain, she's the vamp girl," Larry said, trying to be helpful.

"Yeah, I know. Where is she? Oi, Alucard, where's the police girl?"

The big red clad vampire with the harlequin smile leaned against a wall, his arms folded. His eyes half closed into slits, his fun was through and now he looked as though he were about to nod off. "None of your concern, Bernadette. She can fend for herself."

Pip gripped the clipboard at his side, smashing the end of his cigarette in his teeth. "I didn't ask that. Where is she?"

A gloved hand, glowing white in the darkness pointed into the mist beyond them. Pip may as well have looked with his long lost eye. There was nothing as far as he could see. "Out there, she's coming. Don't let her hold you up. She'll make it back." Alucard then let his hand fall to his side and made no other indication of moving from his spot.

_"We can't leave her, Alucard," Pip handed the clipboard to the private at his side._

_"Why not?"_

_Words would not form in Bernadette's mouth. "You can't possibly be suggesting that we leave a-an agent of ours out there?"_

_The shock from the human's face did nothing to change the vampire's tune. Alucard reached into his coat and calmly placed his glasses away as he spoke, "Police Girl is a midian, a pitiful one. But a midian all the same, she needs to learn to fend for herself. There is no reason to coddle her."_

_Asshole. "I am not leaving without every living-" Bernadette stopped and shook his head in midsentence. What was he doing trying to reason with Alucard? The cigarette dropped from his mouth and was crushed underfoot. He then turned to his troops. "All of you, stay here and radio in our status to base. Do not leave," he turned and looked at Alucard for a moment but then turned back to the soldiers, "any of you."_

Of course the radio didn't work in this situation. It worked only to contact the base, so well in fact, that anyone on the other line could even make out Sir Integra grinding her teeth at the news of delay. Communications between Seras and the team was nothing but a crackle. From time to time Bernadette still would try as he made his way back to the ghost town remains. "Bernadette to Victoria, come in Police Girl. Where you at?"

Pip sniffed and whipped the rainwater from his nose. _Damn cold_. He had been walking a while now, past the place where the humans and vampires parted ways to cover more ground. There was a lot of damage done, that's for sure. It would take quite a bit of explaining to any visitors, that was for another branch of Hellsing to take care of.

_Sure is sad the way the entire town went under, guess that's what happens when the undead attack small towns,_ he thought to himself as he carefully picked his way through the streets. Pip sighed and ducked under the porch of a house, trying again with the radio. "Bernadette, here, Bernadette to Victoria. Come in, Victoria." He moved fifteen paces forward, "Can you hear me now?"

The line hissed above the patter of rain. He shook the flimsy bit of plastic and technology. "Papa Goose to Batgirl! ET phone home! Car 54, where are you? Marco? Calling all fish out of water!"

The line then clicked, "Uh -aptain? –toria here" for a moment the line went cold dead and Pip shook it against his ear, "-by a church."

_Finally._ "Stay where you are, Batgirl. I'll be there soon." Placing the radio in a dry pocket, Pip found the church in no time. Sure enough, there she was. The Halconnen was upright, she held onto it with both hands. Although Seras was hunched and standing, it was as though the cannon was the only thing holding her up on her feet. She lifted her head as he approached so that a baby blue eye visibly glowed beneath her soaking wet hair to watch him. Only for a moment did Bernadette realize that he had gone out of his way to get a vampire, a soldier of his yes, but a vampire who looked a great deal like an ordinary girl. If it weren't for that strength and those teeth, and the entire not living aspect, she would have been like everyone else. "There you are."

She straightened more, at attention. "Are we moving out, Captain?"

Her hair looked funny to him, all flat against her head like a near drowned cat's. What was Alucard's problem, leaving her out here like that? "Er, at ease. We've moved out."

Seras blinked and a light pink came to her cheeks. "I-I'm the only one out still?"

Pip gave her a kind smile as he stood at her side. "Yeah, but not for long, come on." She nodded and slowly began to move, humiliation written all over her face, as they fell into stride. He glanced at her with his good eye, noticing that she had taken note to walk on his visible side. Did she do that on purpose? "So uh, what were you doing all the way out here?"

"My master asked me to. He said we would cover more ground." Her tone was far too light and casual, as though Alucard didn't nearly leave her in another country.

_He's an asshole_. "That sounds logical, I guess. We made record time. Pretty easy mission though, eh?"

"Right, easy." His attempt at friendly business chat didn't wipe the look off Victoria's face.

They fell into silence, the conflicting tattoos of the pitter patter around them and their footsteps the only sounds_. So much for light and idle chat. What do you say to a girl who's got a pinup physic that could (and would) kick your ass by flicking you?_ "Captain?"

"Call me Bernadette or Pip, Police Girl. I am your captain too but it's not my name."

She flung a glare his way, "Only if you call me Seras, Pip."

"Right then, Seras. What?"

"Why did you come back for me?"

"Why?" _Why wouldn't he?_ "Well you can't just leave a man behind. Especially one that is useful. It's wasteful, ridiculous. Besides, a woman alone on the streets this time of night! Tsk! Tsk! What will people think? Vampire or not, a lady needs an escort unless of course," he couldn't help but snicker, "you're completely comfortable with being a nightwalker."

Seras sputtered. "Wha? You! Ugh! N-no! I mean, why are you here with me right now?"

"Why me? Because I'm responsible for you, I'm your commander. If I say its time to come on back, you come on back. And if you aren't there to hear the order, it's up to me to get it to you somehow. And I wanted to go for a walk because it is SUCH a nice night." He held out his hand and caught some raindrops in his palm.

She couldn't help but laugh, at least her escort back was cheerful for a change.

"Did you expect Alucard to come get you?"

The laughter died away and Victoria didn't speak for a few moments. Pip watched as breath flowed out from her mouth and wondered of she realized she was still breathing out of habit. "No," her reply came. "I thought maybe I would find you all myself." Her face was not angry, just resigned.

"Heh, even as vampires, I guess no one has a sense of direction," Bernadette fumbled for a cigarette, trying to gloss over the awkwardness that settled between them. He turned the box over in his hands, getting ready to put it away. "Want one?" he held out the carton.

She turned up her wrinkled nose in disgust. "Are you insane? No! It's a vile habit - it could kill you."

"No, I'm not insane. I'm gonna die soon anyways," smoke rolled from his lips and into the air, visible despite the persistent rain.

"That's a terrible thing to say!" Blue eyes blinked at him, taken by surprise by the flippancy of his words.

_She's too good to be true!_ "Maybe, it's true though. Maybe not this year, maybe not next year or five years from now, perhaps even tomorrow but I know I'm going to die. Hopefully soon so I can leave a gorgeous corpse. It makes for a better viewing at the funeral, with lots of flowers." The stopped walking he put a hand on his hip, the other tipping his hand over his face grinning from ear to ear. "I'm dead sexy as it is."

"You-you have got to be kidding," she looked up at him, or rather looked over him and rapidly looked away.

"Come on, Police Girl. Bet you haven't seen much better," Pip stuck out his hip out farther, and pushed up his hat with his pointer finger. If he could wink, he would have. Did she know how much fun she was? Had it been a clear night, he would have started taking off his shirt.

The look on her face, the way her eyebrow rapidly twitched and her lips pursed, was priceless. He soaked up her gaze as though it were a spotlight, "I don't even want to know who led you to believe those things."

"Oh, no one needs to tell me. I just know I am. Does the swan know that it is the loveliest of birds but pales in comparison to _the_ goose?"

"Does _the_ goose ever shut up?"

Pip made a very nasal, deliberately French laugh. "You're pretty hot stuff yourself, girl. No need to feel jealous."

For the life of her, she had no idea what to say to this infuriating man. Was he kidding with her again? It was hard to tell. Seras coughed and looked at herself. If anything, she felt cold. The rain soaked her to the skin, and the uniform really wasn't letting anything hide. She felt exposed. Bernadette had a sense of humor that didn't quit, and she doubted if he had ever taken anything, even his own life, seriously. Annoying as he was, her captain was refreshing.

Nonetheless, she held the cannon in front of her, as if it would ward him off. "Do you ever quit it? This is for beating you up isn't it?"

"Granted we had a pretty unpleasant meeting, but I think I'll keep you. No revenge needed… yet." He laughed, smile widening. The cigarette stuck out erect from his lips the entire conversation. After taking a long deep puff he held out the box to the vampire once more. "So I'll ask you again, want one?"

"Git," she muttered and shook her head furiously. Droplets of water went into the air, most hitting the captain in the face. He abruptly stopped walking when the spray got into his good eye.

"God damn it, Police Girl! You gonna take the other one from me?" he growled as he rubbed at his eyelid, utterly blind for the moment. Seras laughed and poked him in the side, making him wiggle away. Her smiling face came into his sight as he took his hand away.

Her face fell abruptly, the cannon's butt thudded against the ground.

The cigarette drooped from Bernadette's lips, "Now what did I d?" He was unable to finish. When he blinked, a metallic clang hit the air. In the brief second of darkness his breath left his lungs as weight settled upon his chest and threw him off balance. "Ow! Fuck!" He shouted as his limbs became entwined with the vampire's. They tumbled across the muddy road, splashing through puddles until they came to an incline and settled forcefully at the bottom. Victoria landed on top of him. Pip blinked and found the view rather pleasing.

"I knew you wanted to jump my bones but you could have given me a warning," he said, his voice muffled in her breasts. The police girl grabbed him roughly by the hair and tilted his head up out of the trench they stopped in. Ghouls, one after another, rose up from the earth, their gnarled hands clawing upward right in the place where they were standing. Just like in the movies, he thought to himself.

"Heh, I guess I should have known that this was too good to be true," Pip grumbled as he picked up his cowboy hat from the mud, already his head was soaked, so much for keeping his hair dry.

She was out from beneath him in a second. "What do we do, Captain?"

They both looked carefully over the crest of their makeshift trench. "Looks like the ghouls are heading toward the rendezvous point." Pip figured the reason why vampires made so many was because it took loads of them to make up the intelligence of one kindergartener. He'd have to remember to ask Alucard or Sir Integra about that later. These ghouls were weaving and shuffling around, heading indeed toward the direction of the waiting Hellsing operatives in a very pokey pace.

Seras gripped his arm. "Where everyone else is?"

"Yeah."

"What are you waiting for? We need to warn them! Use the radio!"

Pip eyed the flimsy contraption attached to his jacket. "I wouldn't trust that thing as far as I could throw it. The rain is messing with the reception."

"Then what do we do?"

"Police Girl-"

"It's Seras!" she hissed with indignity.

"Right, Seras, sorry. Where is your cannon? We could send up a flare to let them know there is trouble."

If it were possible, the vampire would have paled as she frantically looked around the ditch. "I-I dropped it when I saved you! It must have rolled to the other side of the road if not-" she eyed the large numbers of marching feet. "Bugger!" She hiked up her skirt and threw a leg up on the rim of the ditch.

The flash of white knickers was distracting. Pip forced himself to pan back and take in the big picture. "W-what do you think you're doing!"

"I have to get it! We have to warn the others!"

"Are you crazy? Get back here! You can't just jump out here!" Bernadette roughly grabbed her by her other leg and tugged her back into hiding, luckily the ghouls were so focused on their destination. She fought him and made to kick at his shins, he let go of her leg and held her tight against him. Pip had no idea she had it in her, granted she gave him a hell of a beating just flicking him, but this was crazy. Adrenaline was on his side, but he knew if she didn't calm down he was screwed. "Seras, stop!"

She was furious. "Let me go! Don't you care what happens?" Her minds eye would not stop the image of bodies lying across the hallway, green uniforms tainted brown by pooling blood. The smell and feel of blood on her hands was so real right now, she felt like she would scream. "No!" she growled and bared her fangs. She squeezed her eyes shut but the memories kept coming. Sir Integra holding her back, the look of disgust on her face and Walter's. They looked at her like…like… Monsters! Monsters had to be stopped!

Pip recognized a post traumatic episode beginning when he saw one. Vampire or not, she needed to snap out of it and fast. He let go of her torso and firmly held her face in his hands. "Oi, Victoria! Seras!" She stiffened, no longer violent but squirming, trying to pry herself completely away from him. If he wasn't leaning against the grassy side of the trench he would be knocked over again and then some. Girl didn't know her own strength.

"Look at me, petite. Sshh! Just look at me." Blue eyes held a red tinge with small and shaking pupils, not good. Bernadette kept eye contact as he spoke, ignoring her gnashing sharp teeth. This was what worked with a human, would it work for her? Pip hoped so. "Calm down. There are too many of 'em to sneak by unnoticed," his breath was warm across her face. "I know you want to help. I know you do. Just stop."

"B-but we have to warn everyone or cut off the ghouls!" her voice was a lot deeper and richer then she would have liked it to be. The rich color of his eye transfixed her. Seras could smell the very blood rushing through his veins and a prickly salty smell she assumed was the rainwater. Everything was too rough, too bright, and too potent around her. None the less, there her captain was, refusing to let the savagery inside of her take the reigns. Her breath became frantic pants.

"Let's do what we can, don't forget that Hellsing and the Geese are always ready. This is their job. They have a mission like you, are you going to deny them that? There will be another time for you to be gung-ho." Seras stilled at her captain's words totally now. He made no comment about her cooperation but did allow himself to sigh, his forehead brushing against hers. As soon as his hands were on her, they were gone.

"Y-yes, Sir," she replied at last. The red of her irises disappeared to nothing as she looked away, ashamed. What a way to show your captain what you're made of. "I'm sorry. I just-"

"Don't worry about it, just duck and cover." A smile ghosted across Pip's face as he drew a grenade from one of his many utility pockets.

Their bodies crouched low together as the grenade hit the air and landed right in the middle of the moving ghoul battalion. The explosion briefly lit up the rainy night. Mud went flying along with limbs. The ghouls were tossed this way and that looking like discombobulated toys. Seras shivered and hoped that it would be mistaken for the jolt of the blast. Pip sat up from his crouched ball and put a hand on her shoulder. "Go on, girl. Get the cannon. I'll cover you."

The police girl scaled the rim of the ditch and recoiled at the sight of writhing dismembered bodies. Among the gore and blood, her cannon lay in plain view. Seras smiled and scooped it up, holding it close briefly as if it could feel her relief. As she shoved a single shell into the barrel, she was sure that the spirit of the Halconnen would scold her over this incident. She took aim for the sky and pulled the trigger, being pushed back by an inch from the recoil. The sparks from the shell erupted in the sky reflecting the falling drops of rain and looking like fireworks.

"Pip, I did it!"

Her joy was short lived as a ghoul filled her vision reaching for her with its grubby rotting fingers. Apparently, there were quite a few that were still not dashed to bits by the grenade. She swung the cannon, not having time to blow them away with it. Gunfire cut the air around her, heads and chests bursting open. Flowers of blood blossomed within Seras's vision. Excitement thrummed through her, edging her toward fear at moments, but never over the edge. True to his word, Pip was right there with the fire power and she made it back to the ditch.

"Good going," he said, unleashing another round on the few, still mobile ghouls. Victoria beamed as she set the enormous barrel of the cannon up and loaded up as well. Bernadette found himself smiling too. "Target practice."

A heavy duty armed car, they recognized in an instant just then pulled up close, squishing what ghoul remains had not be turned to dust. From the momentum of the wheels, muddy water cascaded over Pip and Seras before they could cry out for the driver to stop. Larry stuck his head far out of the passenger side window, using his hand to shield his head from the rain. "Oi, you alright, Boss? We saw a flare."

Larry got a face full of mud as Bernadette responded, "I look like fucking Swamp Thing. It's raining like a son of a bitch. And you ask me if I'm ok? Let us in the car before you ask questions, stupid!" At once the door swung open, the captain climbed in and offered Seras his hand.

She took it, and didn't meet his eye as she allowed a smile, even if she was a sight, caked in mud and probably gore from the ghouls.

The soldiers were huddled against a building's awning, talking and smoking. They straightened to attention as the truck rumbled closer. Alucard stood in the rain, face tilted upward. Eyes were hardly opened as he gave the cool greeting, "Welcome back, Captain. Did you find the lost lamb?"

The police girl looked down in shame as she stepped out into the rain again. The mud was coming off, but she wished she had something more permanent to hide from her Master's eyes.

_The asshole never quits_. "Yep. It went fine."

Alucard opened an eye, white flash of teeth gleaming, "nice to hear that your retrieval went without _incident_."

Pip couldn't tell if it was a smile or a sneer that came to Alucard's mouth. He didn't want to know really. The captain turned to his troops, "Right, ok. Whoever isn't here, raise your hand. Anyone? Anyone? Good. Let's get the hell out of here."

Seras joined ranks in their roll call order. The helicopter that had been waiting for sometime started up and everyone began to climb in. Bernadette went in last, Alucard behind him. Part of the bonding exercise was sharing the close quarters of the heli. The vampire sat back, eyes closed and arms crossed.

Pip stared at him. _What a fucker. I bet he knew the ghouls were there._

_I did_. Alucard opened his eyes, smiling. His voice reverberated through Bernadette's ears as though the vampire had actually spoken.

"You bastard. If you are going to talk to me, talk to me."

"I have been called worse. Please don't hold back on my behalf."

"Why the hell did you let her go out there alone?" He didn't even want to think of what would have happened.

"She needed the practice."

"So in order for one to practice, they need to be stranded and without instruction a long distance from base?"

"It's no use explaining the ways of the undead."

"Non, non. Please, I insist Monsieur Alucard, explain to me your logic," his voice threatened to increase in volume but there was no need to let the whole chopper hear. "You are some kind of pumped-up, pimped out vampire to my understanding that has been around for-bloody-ever, great for you, even moreso for Hellsing. But, you are toying with one girl's life. She probably doesn't even know what the bloody hell you mean when you say ways of the undead."

"She isn't human, Bernadette. Treating her as one is a waste of both your time and hers."

"With all respect due and given," he hissed, "let me be her captain and do my duty as such, by ensuring she isn't abandoned and mauled by ghouls or herself because some blood sucker hasn't given her the time of day to teach her what's what in terms she could understand."

Alucard's red calculating eyes stared at him. "I have been allowing you to be her captain, like it or not I am her master—not you." Bernadette looked away, pressing the side of his face against the icy glass of the window. In the glass, he couldn't see Alucard's reflection and was glad for it.

The vampire saw that as a victory and not stubborn silence. His body began to fade away to nothing. "You Frenchmen are all the same;" he said with a laugh, "for now, this infatuation of yours is amusing."

Warm house, warm coffee, warm clothes after an equally hot shower slowly lightened his bad mood. _Dry clothes - much better_, at last Pip Bernadette had a real smile on his face as he sat on his bed. He bent over and pulled the black guitar case from under him. The familiar instrument fell into his hands as he leaned against the wall, legs folding under the hallow body of the guitar. With practiced ease he strummed his way through songs old and new enjoying the smoldering smoke. It was easy to let the time pass by with his eye closed, music in his mind and nicotine in his veins.

_Infatuation, that's child's play. I think I'd know if I were falling. _

"Captain? Captain Bernadette?"

His eye lazily opened and there she was. "Hey there, Seras." A light, guilty flush came over his face.

The young vampire's hair was wet, like it had been the majority of the evening but she didn't look like a cat in the rain, more like a woman fresh from a shower. He pretended to look away at his guitar to put it down. Instead as his gaze dropped, he looked her over in her pajamas. A part of him was disappointed to find that it wasn't the baby doll negligee he imagined, instead it was a simple cotton gown that fell past her knees. Another part of him thought it was fitting for her.

With guitar in its case, he scooted aside for her to sit down. "What can I do for you?"

She looked at the spot he made for her then at him. "N-nothing. I just heard music and I wanted to see what it was."

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't know I was playing loudly."

"No, no. It wasn't loud at all. Only I could probably hear it. It's refreshing actually," she said with a little laugh. "Between Walter and my Master's I don't hear anything more modern then swing."

He too laughed and picked up the guitar. "Any requests? A musician loves a captive audience." _Please, just stay a while. I want to know that you are ok._

Seras slowly sat beside him. She could smell the soap he used to clean away the mud. "I can't think of any. What was that you were playing?"

As he looked at her, the melody resurfaced. "This one? You really don't know? Stairway to Heaven, it's not exactly modern, but a classic in its own right."

She watched his callous fingertips work through the chords. "Moonlight as a rock star, Pip?"

"If there is a promise of special backstage performances by groupies, I'm there. To rock and roll aaaall night and party everyday, that's a life to lead." A snort of disgust took away his smile as she moved to stand. "Hey, come on you know I'm playing, girl. Lighten up and have a seat."

Seras did continue to sit but not as close as before. Pip licked his lips and tapped cigarette ashes into an empty scotch tumbler on the nightstand, before continuing to play. He noticed she was barefooted where he, on the other had, had on his wool socks as well as a pair of slippers. "You ever get cold?"

"Hm?"

"You're walking around like its summertime or something."

"So far only water makes me cold." She gave him a small smile as she tucked her feet beneath her.

"How about heat?"

"Um. I haven't been a vampire long enough to tell. I can feel things that are hot and cold but I don't know if I can get hot," she ended with a shrug.

Pip nodded and continued to strum his way through the song. He hoped she didn't play an instrument because this particular tune was out of practice, but he pressed on. The conversation died down and the guitar was the only sound. She just sat there and listened, eyes half closed with her cheek rested against her hand. He wished he knew all the words to sing but kept playing for all he was worth.

Bernadette should have been satisfied in this moment of peace between he and Victoria, a peace without ego, machismo or trying to prove one thing or another. But he wasn't. The echo of Alucard's words wouldn't leave Pip. I'm allowing you to be her captain, he had said. What did that mean? That he was a nuisance to be tolerated like her?

"Captain?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm-I'm very sorry about what happened... in the ditch," her words faltered, as simple as they were.

"I told you before, don't worry about it. You've got a problem to deal with. It got under control today."

"But Pip, I could have-" Seras shook her head and looked away.

He stopped playing and set the guitar up against the wall. "You didn't. I'm glad that you got like that tonight."

"What?"

"I'm glad it happened. I now know about it." She looked down at the floor. "I'm guessing by your shame, you weren't going to tell me that intense situations with ghouls get to you. You're looking at it the wrong way. I know how I can help you now. Don't think for a second that this is a problem that will just go away."

She nodded, still avoiding eye contact.

"I think problem is the wrong word for it, Victoria. You're a vampire. That's your weapon. You don't NEED a gun in the end. It's a learning process that I'm sure you're barely scratching the surface on. Just keep trying to master it." Pip fell silent, feeling awkward in giving her a pep talk out of the blue, but it felt right. And another poor choice of words on his part. He was going to ban the word master from his vocabulary around Seras, except it was a little late for that now. It was his turn to avert his gaze as he crushed the cigarette in the tumbler. "Just don't you think you are alone, Seras."

"Thank you, Captain," she said at last, a smile on her face, despite the increasing watery quality of her eyes. "I won't let you down."

_How many times did she need someone to say that to her?_ "You're welcome."

"I should go," Seras yawned and stretched. Pip watched her chest rise with her arms over her head. "We've got drills tomorrow."

He swallowed and made damn sure that she didn't catch his gaze, or else this entire conversation's meaning would be lost. "Bonne nuit," the words rolled from his tongue as he too yawned and stretched.

"Bon newie?"

Pip smiled and shook his head, "Good night."


	2. Not Alone

"Quid sum miser tunc dicturus? Quem patronum rogaturus cum vix justus sit securus?"- Tuba Mirum, Mozart's Requiem

"What shall a wretch like me say? Who shall intercede for me when the just ones need mercy?"- The Trumpet Sounds, Mozart's Requiem

Seras tugged at the hem of her skirt again and sighed. Captain Bernadette had not arrived. Seven sharp, that was the unchanging drill time. The wake up call at six thirty, was it that difficult? Granted she could sleep in till eight if it was possible but she was able to appear on time. She had hoped a good training session would make up for getting lost the night before to Sir Integra.

_Where is he? Let's give him a few more minutes. I owe that man. _Time ticked on. And it became harder for her to say that it was just a simple case of running late.

"Does anyone have the time?" she asked aloud.

"Seven twenty five," came the reply from the soldiers who lazily stood in their scrimmage squads.

A growl escaped the vampire girl's throat. "Right then, we can't wait up for the captain any longer. Let's begin. I want teams A and C to head to the shooting range. Please do notice that we have new civilian targets, so have a keen eye and take advantage of the night vision scopes. In the meantime, teams B and D head to the obstacle course in two lines. Each line will compete with the other in matters of time. Can I trust you blokes to work while I go and see what's keeping Bernadette?" she looked into the face of each man, searching for the slightest indication of mischief. The police girl wasn't sure if she should be happy about the lack of response.

"And might I add that Sir Integra will be stopping by during the drills." Slack, careless faces tightened. If you don't intimidate, find someone who can. "Glad we have an understanding. Move out!"

Victoria made sure that everyone was to their designated exercises before she turned away back to the manor. She stepped in a puddle at the steps of the entry way. _I hope it's just a mistake._ Rain water will now always remind her of him. A frown came to her as doubt wormed its way in. _Just when I was thinking that he wasn't such a creep after all, he goes and pulls this. What next? Every soldier decides to just sleep in? I know I'm just a girl but that doesn't mean that you can walk all over me._

By the time Seras reached Pip's door she had worked herself up into a fury. Her balled fist connected with the door as she knocked to wake the dead. "Captain Bernadette! You were supposed to be outside a half an hour ago!"

There was a muffled sound, like blankets parting. She pressed her ear against the wood to hear, "Huh? Wuh?"

_For the love of… What is he doing in there?_ "Pip? Are you decent?" she turned the door knob finding it unlocked.

Seras's jaws dropped.

Bernadette was in a strange limbo between nudity and clothed modesty sprawled across his bed. The lightly tanned expanse of his chest was looked exceedingly inviting against the plain blue bedding bunched around him. The sight of that much skin was a shock to her system. But what was more shocking were the pair of flannel pants riding low over his hips revealing a pair of red boxer shorts that had slid so far down his waist so show the indentations where his legs met his hips. The muscles of his arm rippled as he stretched to scratch his head.

"C-c-captain Pip?"

A blue green eye lazily opened, hazy with sleep. "Bonjour, cher," his voice had a gravely quality that made the red surfacing on the girl's face deepen. "I'll be up in a second."

_Stop ogling! That's what he'd do! You're angry remember! _She shook her head hard and planted her hands on her hips."Don't you French talk me! You're late!"

Pip groaned as he sat up, Seras noticed that he didn't sleep with his eye patch on and his long bangs created a curtain over the scar tissue lid, giving the illusion of two eyes. Bernadette picked up an alarm clock that rested on the nightstand, after shaking it and holding it at an angle he could see, than unceremoniously dropped it on the floor. "So sorry, I didn't even hear the damn thing. I'm gettin' up. I swear."

It was then that Victoria took a step back to study him. He looked awfully pale in the face. There wasn't any alcohol on his breath so it was not a hangover that gave him a fatigued look. "Are you ok? You look peaky." She bent over, putting her hands on her knees. Bernadette leaned back onto his hands, swaying slightly to look her in the face the same way she did to him. "Do you have a fever?" Seras placed the back of her hand on his head.

He hissed at the contact. _Idiot, your cold hands can be felt right through the gloves!_ She at once started to pull away, but he caught her wrist and held the hand where it was. "No need to pull away, it feels good."

Seras tried to ignore the comment; sure enough he did have a fever. The heat off of his skin was warmer than she remembered it being. "It must have been from last night in the rain! Aw, Captain I'm sorry!"

Pip's brow furrowed, still holding her hand there. "I'll be fine. Just gimme a few moments and I'll be out."

"Don't be stupid! You're sick!"

He grunted and reached for a cigarette with his free hand, still keeping her hand on his forehead. "Nah. It'll pass," he muttered. After inhaling, he coughed and held the smoldering cig away so that he wouldn't blow it out. After a few more moments of interchanging puffs and coughs, Bernadette extinguished the cigarette.

"If you are not feeling well and go with the other men you'll infect everyone! Stay here, rest." Seras looked down at him, he would not let her move away from him.

"Infect? It isn't SARS, girl. If anything, it's just a bit of a bug nothing to go ape over."

"That's all it takes to bring a man down if he decides to go and make it worse by marching around in the dark. You're staying here, that's final."

He looked up at her, letting go of her hand at last. A smirk came to his lips. "You're a nurse as well as a police girl? Mmm. I want to see that outfit on you. That'd make me feel better."

Seras pulled back completely and crossed her arms. "Even when you aren't in complete health you're a pervert."

Bernadette snickered then erupted into coughs and waved away her concern. "I'm not sick, really. It's nothing. So long as I don't break out into spots I'm fine."

"Do you have wax in your ears? Sir Integra will not want you around the other soldiers like this. Sickness spreads fast in close quarters."

"Not a chance, girl. I've got to work. I'll be careful and I won't breathe on anyone." His braid swayed from side to side as he unsteadily got to his feet and attempted to pull his pants on properly. When that was accomplished he started off to his wardrobe.

"You are not leaving!"

Blushing, Seras grabbed him around the chest from behind as he tried to reach for a shirt. Pip didn't resist, he stopped his efforts to move away, taken by surprise as much as she by the action. His hands moved to gently encase her wrists and moved her hands from his chest to down to his waist then back up, lazily. Muscles rippled under her fingertips. Bernadette stood up straight and leaned back against her so that her cheek settled between his shoulder blades. His skin was warm, searing where hers was cool. The meeting of the two was breathtaking. A low sound rumbled in Pip's chest she didn't dare to identify as rational thought stirred her mind back to reality. Seras had intended to just restrain him but the way she fit against him and how he reacted to her changed it from a hold to an embrace.

"L-let me go, you pervert," her voice failed to have the conviction that it needed to be effective.

"You're holding on to me first, girl," he replied coyly.

"You aren't leaving," she repeated.

"Is that an order Senior Officer Victoria?"

She could hear his heart beating and feel the words rumble in his chest. "Yes. Yes it is, Captain."

"Then I can't argue." His hands fell away from hers but heat still lingered. She pulled away from him, holding a hand to her heart. If Seras were alive, it would be beating a mile a minute.

He turned to her, single eye not missing the hitch in her breathing or the flood of color on her face. "Promise to come back and keep my fever down if I stay here like a good boy? I'm not too good at staying down and resting when I'm sick." Pip coughed again and this time it was purposely pathetic. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought that he had become ill on purpose.

Seras sighed. "I'll be back if I can. I don't want Sir Integra to get the wrong idea." _Did I just say that? Oh please… no!_

He slowly sat down on the bed and fluffed his pillow, turned mostly away from her. "Whatever do you mean by that, Police Girl?"

_Is-is that a smile? Let's not read into anything. He's got womanizer written all over his face. You're just another prey in his sights. It's his nature…isn't it? Oh god. Why is he looking at me like that again? What do you want from me Pip? _

"N-nothing," she sighed and looked to the ground. There was a slipper that was close to her foot, she scooted it under the bed. "Stop calling me Police Girl."

"Can you get me a shirt before you leave? There's a flannel one on the dresser."

She found the garment easily and picked it up, the potent smell of cigarettes and a fresh soap tickled her nose as she set it onto the bed. "Anything else?" Seras put as much annoyance as she could muster in her voice.

"What are you frowning for? Smile."

_Playing into his hands, egging him on… I should not be so worked up. That's what keeps him going. Captain Bernadette and the Geese have been here almost three weeks. It's not going to change. Get used to it. He's around all the time. He's only trying to get under my skin. Yes. That is it the source of all the dirty songs, perverted comments and arguments. Hm. Well if that's all he's got then he better try harder. I'm not going to let him get to me._

Seras Victoria over and again tried to rationalize why she smiled at him but the reason wasn't becoming any clearer. One explanation led to more questions. She wished that puberty hadn't come so soon for her so that she would have been able to understand the way older boys ticked.

As she made her way to the shooting range to check up on the Geese she saw the familiar silhouette-- Sir Integra, arms crossed. _Bugger! I thought she wouldn't be observing till later!_ She picked up the pace and greeted her chief directly. "Evening, Sir."

Integra didn't look away from the field but recognized her presence with a nod. "Is it wise to leave the men unattended like that?"

The vampire winced and stood before her boss, that hand she held up in salute dropped to her side. "Erm, very sorry about that, Sir Integra. I was seeing what was keeping Captain Bernadette."

Integra took the cigar from her lips and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, is that so?"

Seras frowned. "Yes, I was—I… That is… Erm." _What was I?_

"Yes?"

"I was concerned, Sir. I felt suspicious when he didn't arrive and thought that perhaps something had happened. As it turns out he's fallen ill from last night's mission in the rain."

The head of Hellsing sighed in a stream of smoke. "I'm glad he didn't appear then. Our flu vaccine budget was cut significantly to speed up the renovations after the Valentines. I shall tell the cook to start serving soup more often and double the citrus intake." She shook her head. "Every year in addition to vampires we have to fight the flu. Alucard finds this hilarious."

Victoria could hear him laughing just thinking about it. She crossed her arms. "He would."

"Tell me, how are the men doing?"

"They've improved greatly. Our soldiers and the Geese are becoming fast friends, which is all well and good but," she sighed, "I just don't feel they are taking me seriously."

Integra snickered as she pulled the cigar from her mouth. She saw the look on the vampire girl's face, "Excuse me, surely you too find it bit humorous." Seras's facial expression didn't change. "It takes time to earn their respect, it is a slow process. You are doing fine. If you gain Bernadette's trust the others will follow suit without trouble."

_Gain his trust? _"Yes Sir."

For a moment the two were silent. Seras fidgeted nervously, even though Integra was looking ahead watching the soldiers she felt as though she were under scrutiny. _Such an intimidating woman. _Integra dropped her cigar and crushed it beneath her shoe. "Let's go and check their aim."

Bernadette slid in and out of sleep so many times he wasn't sure if he was awake when the swirling ceiling fan caught his attention. He blinked slowly and the sight before him didn't change. _Did I turn it on? I can't remember. _He sat up, instantly regretting it. "Ugh my head," he groaned. "Water…that'd feel good."

Somehow, Pip made it to his bathroom without falling over. He turned on the cold water full blast and splashed himself in the face. The mirror collected the drops that didn't return to the sink, one reflection was all it could hold. Sighing at the instant relief that it brought to his skin, he fumbled for the hand towel that was usually sitting along the sink. No towel was to be found so he pulled his sleeve across his face. Pip's vision blurred to a haze of red when he opened his eye.

"W-what?" clumsily he backed away from the mirror. Pip knew this shade of red. "Alucard…" The vampire did not say anything, the cold expression in the eyes were enough, even with diminished sight the captain could make them out. "Oi, fucker! I'm talking to you! Yeah, yeah did speak up for the Police Girl. So shit fucking what? It was nothing, hell I'd be more than happy to do it again because it was just that fun, Monsieur! Now get out of--" Pip cried out as a knife of pain caught him by surprise.

_The mind is a terrifying weapon, Captain. Memory is explosive, wouldn't you say? Criticizing me can be very hazardous to your health._

Bernadette clutched his skull, swaying. Panic equaled his pain. The cool tile bathroom became unbearably hot around him, sweltering. White became green, a lush over grown green. Without knowing what was going on, Pip felt dread. The call of an exotic bird was a death knell in the quiet. His vision sharpened and focused. He sat amidst a clearing, the tree arrangements as he recalled them._ "_I'm n-not here. This isn't real. Mon Dieu…not here. This is all a dream!" Or was it? The smell of earth and the tangible heat as fresh as could be. Just as it is…was… The captain felt across his face, reaching for his eye. "W-where am I? What is this?" He reached out and grabbed a leaf, crushing it tightly in his fist. Green oozed through his fingertips as the leaf bled out its stored moisture against the hot African climate. Beyond the leaf he spied movement and reached for a gun that wasn't here.

To his left, a young brunette crouched in the brush, his gun nestled lovingly in his hands just as Pip remembered seeing him last, arms and legs still attached. "Cork! You-you son of a bitch, you're alive! Wait. No. This can't be. It's impossible." The soldier gave no reply but sat back, looking around the wild lands around them, listening. Around him sat his comrades, the entire Wild Geese battalion. Confusion and joy swelled in his heart. _What's going on? Was Hellsing a dream? No fighting vampires, no lady knight, no Police Girl, no batshit crazy vampire… _

Rupert on Pip's right gave a low whistle. He was missing the scar down his cheek that looked like Italy and the droop in his jaw that made them all call him The Godfather. "Something's coming. Do we move, Captain?"

"NO! Hommes, there is a group of fifty or sixty beyond the trees. We've got to move! If we trace back to the watering hole we'll be safe." Those were not the words that hit the air. His voice betrayed him giving the command, "yes, head forward and stay low, guns at the ready."

The forest became a tumult of gunfire as the Geese moved from their positions. "Run! Everyone fall back and run!" Cork fell back onto Pip, blood warmer than the air. "Cork…n-no…" He looked down into his comrade's face. It was gray and withered. The mouth that had flung open to cry out in pain now gaped ready to consume.

"Ghoul?" Pip flung the man from him, backing into a tree. In the shade the bright burning heat of day became night, his vision decreased. "F-fuck…this isn't real! This isn't real!" One fallen Goose after another turned, crouched like wild dogs, guns forsaken for teeth and fists as they rounded on their captain. Pip's voice echoed out through the forest with no reply but the deafening gun fire from enemies behind the trees. He had to run. There was no other option. Bullets slid through him. Bernadette knew he was bleeding but not where or how he managed to keep running as he was with wounds. Pain was everywhere around him, in his legs, arms, face, and most of all in the unseeing eye beneath the shredded lid.

_Afraid? I'm surprised I had to go this far to get you to be so, Captain. If I didn't know any better I'd say you had your own moments of madness._

He was over taken, the snarling faces no longer distinguishable. Was it over now? No.

The hunt ended in a blink. Bernadette was on his back in darkness. The yellow light of a lantern illuminated the figures of the natives. "H-help me. Oh god please…H-help me.." he had begged. In English, in French, in the bits of the collective languages of the area and still they picked over his broken body taking what weapons and goods to trade, deaf to his pleas. He was not going to die, not yet and not here. He reached for his hand gun and found that it was with him this time.

_How do you define monster, Bernadette?_

"It-it never happened that way… This is all your doing." Pip closed his eye tightly. "Fucking bastard!"

The figure closest to him leaned forward, pale skin and red eyes separating him from the rest of the vultures. An icy hand touched his forehead, lizard like so different from the hand that was upon his head last. "Is it, now? These images were already here." Bernadette groaned, his hand shook as he took aim. This had to end. "Yes. That's right. Even if you never killed the raiders you wanted to, the desire is tangible and real as can be. But really," he leaned closer, "I know what happened. Despite your handicap, your aim is ever true."

"W-what the fuck do you want from me?"

Alucard's grin grew wider. The thief next to Pip shoved him onto his side, healing wounds disrupted. "I can't have you tampering with my business."

The captain hissed in pain, he clutched the gun as if it were a holy relic. "S-shit. Seras isn't business. She's a girl, a good girl. Y-you can't change that. Bothers the hell out of you, d-don't it?"

"You are as savage and brutal as I am, as the Police Girl and you speak of good, mercenary?"

"Maybe you're right a-about me…" a defeated sneer came to his lips as he pulled his trigger. The smiling vampire face above him exploded in blood and bone. "But she's not like us."

Around him Uganda shred to pieces revealing glaring white tile beyond the darkness. Pip lay on his back, sweat beading on his skin. For several breaths, he just took in his surroundings. _Safe… you are safe._ He stood shaking at last and went back to bed to lay and wait for sleep. Each sound of the household- the click of the heater, footsteps down the hall, brought panic. Familiarity was taunting in its easy existence.

What if he fell asleep? Would all be a brief dream? He would wake alone and be waiting to die.

Training hadn't gone as bad as she thought it would after Integra arrived. Especially in comparison to the day chili was served. The entire group's accuracy had improved by leaps and bounds. Despite her frustrations, Seras felt that she could trust the Wild Geese. _They may be a bunch of clowns to be around, but they were as good soldiers as any. Hopefully we will all be on good terms and trust one another completely soon. I'm glad that things are looking up. _She walked down to the dungeon levels and stopped in her room only to change into some casual clothing, preferably nothing with a skirt. Seras tugged on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt.

_Just a visit, he'll probably be sleeping. I wish I could have slept today._ The image of Pip sprawled out in sleep appeared in her mind, his mouth half open. _I wish a lot of things._ She made sure that there was no one in the hallway as she left her room. The last thing she needed was a brutal talking to by her master. Before long she stood in front of the door with the sign that read Captain P. Bernadette, a weight settled in her stomach.

_I did promise but…should I leave him alone and let him sleep? _

Logic said yes. A sick man needs his rest after all. It's so quiet, he has to be sleeping.

Intuition said no. There was an unsettling hum in the air around her that increased as she stepped close to put her ear to the door.

She softly tapped and heard no reply. Rather than knocking louder, Seras opened the door and entered shutting it quickly and quietly behind her. The room was dark, her eyes adjusted to darkness not quite caught up with her movements.

"Don't you move, you son of a bitch! I've got silver with your name on it! You got me once and you're not going to do it again!"

Victoria heard a click. She didn't dare move a muscle; this voice was so rough and angry. "Pip?" she managed to squeak out. Was that even Pip?

The lamp on the nightstand flicked on, she squinted at the rapid change from light to dark. Pip sat up against the head board, shotgun tightly clasped in hand, the barrel tilted toward her, "Police Girl?" The captain blinked once and once more, eye going wide with disbelief. He looked down to the mattress guiltily. The pale complexion she noticed earlier now looked even more sallow in the scarcely lit corner, he hadn't gotten any sleep. "I-I was…"

"Can you put the gun down, Captain?" she spoke as gently as she could, ignoring his use of her disliked nickname. Victoria gave him a smile, the effort made her face hurt. _What is the matter with you? I would never hurt you, dummy! I'm not like him!_

Bernadette bent down slowly, legs dangling over the edge, keeping balance by gripping the edge of the nightstand and shoved the gun under the bed. He stayed crouched down like that as she slowly approached him watching the tension in him increase. "Seras, f-for a second I thought that," he shook his inclined head, braid tapering down the side of the bed to brush against the floor, "never mind."

She carefully approached the bed and sat beside him. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

He did not sit up yet. In fact he bent lower until his head nearly touched his knees. Seras saw his shoulders shake, was he laughing? "Go on to your room," Pip spoke at last after a long pause, his voice held the slightest vibration, "get to bed, and have sweet dreams, girl. Leave me."

"Hey! You asked me to come back and here I am." Here she was, at last, worked up having over thought the scenario all evening and he was turning her away! It wasn't easy to get to this point. "I keep my word."

_I don't want her to see me like this. I don't want pity. _Bernadette shook his head again, vigorously this time, his braid lashing like a whip. "I'm fine."

"Captain Bernadette," Seras put her hand on his shoulder, muscles bunched. He lifted his head, bangs shifted so that a stormy sea eye looked at her with not only distress but suspicion. _Are you here to get an eyeful of a mutt without morals? Going to judge me like everyone else, Seras? _"Pip, let me help you." This was more than a bout of the flu, she could gather that much. Nonetheless, she meant every word.

_Help? Look at me! I mean really look at me! _In the lamp light there was no way that the scarred tissue over his eye could be hidden from her sight. "You can't help, go on and rest. This is my problem. I'll be well enough soon."

J_ust leave me alone so I can pick up the pieces. No one else can help me. _

"How can you be so certain of that, Captain?" She met his gaze bravely. There was no pity in those bright blue eyes that held him firmly in place. "We can't have you off your feet for long. I-I'll watch you till you sleep."

The captain closed his eye tightly. Her statement, simple and innocent, broke something inside of him. He sat up and turned to her. His lips moved to protest, to turn her away. No sound came from his mouth as her hand touched his cheek. Pip had no idea how heated his skin became until she stroked her bare fingertips across his face. She was so cool and inviting.

Those eyes were so large, trusting this man before her, this soldier without country or kin. She scooted closer to him. _I understand. Let me fight with you, Pip. Sometimes you can't make it on your own._

_D-did she just say…? _His limbs felt heavy as he leaned forward into her touch. Sleep hung heavy over him; His blearily opened eye was fixed on her full lips. "I don't want to fight right now, cherie" Pip gave her as big of a smile as he could make.

_I just want…_

Balance along with his resistance fell away.Seras sat stock still as he leaned against her, his head a valued and heavy weight on her shoulder. She was glad that he could not see her face with his own pressed against the skin of her neck. This was not what she had in mind yet she didn't say a word. Victoria carefully put her arms around him feeling the hard muscles slowly fall out of taut bunches. Bernadette breathed deeply and loudly, her own breathing was irregular.

_W-what is this? What is this feeling?_ She had never been so close to a grown man since Alucard had changed her. This was a completely different. Seras held her breath as his hot hands gripped her waist and slid around to be closer to her. An electric shock of fear made her stiffen spread through her. She bit her lip to keep the irrational need to scream at bay. The vampire girl shut her eyes tightly refusing to allow the image to surface. _No. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Not like that… pervert or not._

Pip could feel her obvious discomfort even though he was half asleep. "I'm sorry," he mumbled almost incoherently, lips brushed against her skin. "You just feel so good…I'll move…" His weight shifted with the effort, "just gimme…a second or so."

Exciting, frightening…

"No, Captain." Seras whispered and leaned her head against his. The panic that had come to her so quickly went away at the sleepy slur of his voice. _I'm safe with you. _She closed her eyes, feeling his warmth seep through her skin.

Integra didn't lift her eyes from her paper work. "Don't think that I don't know what you've been up to today. You've been tampering with the limits of the seal."

"Are you jealous that I wandered through someone else's psyche?" He shifted through the wall to stand close to the desk, still denied her eye contact.

"I want to know what you are up to."

Alucard gave a brief laugh and turned to the pair of eyes that never left him while in this room. The ever present portrait of Arthur Hellsing was a testament to authority, to stubbornness. For a few moments the vampire challenged the depths of the eyes that the painter had managed to capture the elder Hellsing's spirit in. "This place has become a sanctuary for lost souls as of late."

The paper work dropped from her grasp. The click of a lighter and stench of cigar smoke filled the air. "Speak for yourself, Alucard. Who has bothered you enough to take action? Answer me."

"I have no quarrel with anyone, Master."

"Captain Bernadette has fallen ill, the first victim of this season of the flu." Integra eyed him carefully.

"Is that so? Rather early this year."

"Quite." At last, she stared into his face. "Just how much did it bother you that he went back for Seras?"

A wrinkle of disgust marred his lineless face. "Why speak of mere trifles not worthy of our attention?"

She stood and smoothed lines out of her charcoal suit and stood before her father's portrait, affection and pleasure in her eyes. "I know you and your pride, vampire."

"And I yours, Sir Hellsing. It's delicious."

"Hassle the captain again and I shall find a way to make you ill."

"If he learned his lesson, it won't happen again although your threat does sound promising."

Integra smiled and removed the smoldering cigar from her lips. "You are agitated that he is threatening your influence over the police girl."

He stared long into her face. She nearly thought that he had become too lost in his thoughts to answer. Integra was proved wrong when at last his lips parted, "Yes. I am, among other things."


End file.
